when mia met joe

On New Year’s Eve of 2010, my friend Rebekah and I went out for a night on the town, which is not like me; I am usually more of a “try to stay awake to watch the ball drop” type of girl. We toasted to making 2010 the year we swore off guys. Both of us had been on dates with a bunch of weirdos, losers and time wasters and we were over it! A few days later, another friend, Erica, invited me out to go bowling. She let me know that Dharell, one of her good friends from Penn State, was actually moving back to PA and had invited her to go to Whitestone Lanes, so she asked me to come. Again, this was early January, and it was extremely unlikely for me to be trying to have an active social life in the dead of winter, but for Erica I was willing to come through.

We got to the bowling alley and met up with Dharell and his friends. There were five guys in the group and they were all so nice and well mannered (except for Ed, but that's a different story). One really caught my attention in particular. It might’ve been his height, his "dashing" gray streak in the front of his hair or his cockiness about his winning score in that bowling match, but I couldn’t help but notice how handsome and personable he was – and I wasn't even playing that night. In between his turns in the lane he would come and talk to me, and after a while he even let his friends take his turn and ruin his perfect record in the game – which I could tell he was taking very seriously – so for him to sacrifice it let me know he was into me, too.

As we talked I came to realize that although this guy was handsome, seemingly very sweet, smart and SUPER HILARIOUS, he mentioned that there was another girl he was seeing. Just my luck – OF COURSE, reminding me of why I made that pact with Rebekah for New Years a few days earlier. He assured me that things were rocky with that girl and that he was already planning on ending things with her. Anyone who knows me knows I just assumed he was full of crap and I just filed him away mentally with all the other guys I swore off for my New Year’s resolution.  He asked me for my number, which I didn't give to him but I did give him my BBM pin (so old school!), because whether or not he was seeing someone else and whether or not I believed any of what he was telling me, he was funny and cute and I wasn't QUITE ready to never speak to him again.

Over the course of the evening we bonded over a love of candy – ring pops in particular – and shared a lot of laughs and great conversation. We had great chemistry right away. But in the back of my mind was the fact that there was someone else he was seeing – even though he assured me it wasn’t serious and it was basically already over. Over the next few days I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt that he would end it like he said he would. Again, anyone who knows me knows I don't have a lot of benefit of the doubt to offer anyone, least of all some handsome stranger! But over the next few days, we hung out every single day – we even went on a date to the beach... YES in January. And of course the next day when he developed a really nasty cold – oops – I brought him some soup and some NyQuil. A few days later when he was feeling better, he brought me a beautiful card and a dozen roses – the first of hundreds of roses he's gotten me over the years – to thank me, to let me know that he ended the other situation, to ask me to be his girlfriend, and apparently to let me know that he planned to make me his wife one day. I said yes to the girlfriend part and laughed off the wife part. But as it turns out he was right all along!

when joe met mia

My friend Dharell was having a "going-away" get together because he was moving to Pennsylvania. I am one of his close friends that was invited. The plan was that we were all going to go bowling. So the guys met up and hung out Rob's house until they were ready to head out in the evening. I was at work majority of the day and I became pretty exhausted. Aside from the fact it was really cold out that day. While driving home from work I decided I wasn't going to go because I was just too exhausted. As I'm nearing Rob's exit on the highway the power steering/alternator belt snaps in my car. So I'm forced to get off the next exit (Rob's exit) to pull the car over and see what I can do. I reach Rob's house and try to work on the car but it's just too cold out that night. I was going to ask the guys to drop me home but I felt it would've been wrong to leave now. So I decided to go out with them since I was already here. Little did I know that my car breaking down was one of the pieces put into play for me to be destined to meet my future wife.

We get to the bowling alley, Dharell introduces us to his friend from school Erica and Erica introduces us to her friend Mia. I shake Mia's hand while thinking to myself "she is very attractive. Pretty face, short, nice body, cute small feet... a lot of qualities on the list of things I like." Plus she had on these leopard pumps that made her even more appealing. But despite my initial thought of her I had no intention of pursuing Mia. As the night progressed Mia and I began to engage in conversation and that's where it began. There was an instant sense of chemistry. I would bowl my turn, hit strikes (trying to show off and impress Mia with my bowling skills) and return back to her to continue where our talks left off. Before I knew it I was passing up my all my turns in bowling because we were both so deep in our conversations and getting to know each other better. The more we talked the more she was growing on me.

After the group was done bowling we all decided to go back to Dharell's house to hang out further and play board games. As soon as we got there my attention was only on Mia. If you were to ask me what else went on that night I wouldn't be able to tell you. My eyes and ears were only on Mia. By this point she had me in the bag. My attraction for her was through the roof. From conversing for so long I realized how much we fit each other and how much we had in common, down to the type of candy we like lol. We even shared a green apple Ring Pop and to me, that was a subtle green light for a possible kiss at some point in the night.

Now the night is ending and everyone is parting ways. Since Mia drove and had to drop Erica, I asked Mia if she wouldn't mind dropping me off as well since my car was still down and I lived close to both her and Erica. Mia agreed and the whole ride we were still in deep conversation. After dropping Erica off we got to my house and we sat in the car for a long time and talked some more. Before going in I asked Mia for a kiss on the cheek. She leaned over and to kiss me on the cheek but also caught the corner of my lips as well. I turned, looked at her and then we had our first kiss. It was very explosive and I could tell I would be with this woman for a long time. Next day Mia offered to drive me to my car so I could fix it. We did that and over the next few days we hung out every single day. She didn't know that over those few days I was already falling for her hard. During one of those days I became sick with a flu. Mia made me some homemade soup and came over to nurse me back up to shape. That day was the first time I told Mia "You know I'm going to marry you, right?!" Of course she didn't believe me and I repeatedly told her that since that day. Now look at us...

Told you so!!!!

will you marry me?

I obviously knew I wanted to marry her pretty early, but I honestly don't know when exactly I decided to propose to Mia. I do know that it was a long time between when I decided I would and I did. Rings are expensive man!

Since I knew I was going to marry Mia since early in the relationship, the ring thing was more of a formality than anything. Mia told me all throughout the relationship what types of rings she liked but it changed somewhat over time. Towards the end, she even shared a specific jewelry designer that made a ring design she really liked. But by the time I had saved up and was ready to buy, the jeweler didn’t have any designs that looked like the one Mia liked up for sale. So after waiting a couple of months to see if the jeweler got them in stock by monitoring her online shop, I messaged her directly to see if they were going to be selling rings like the ones that Mia liked. The jeweler offered to make a custom design based on the pictures I had sent her of Mia’s top ring picks. So I made the down payment and the process was starting.

I was pretty excited because by this point we were together for years and as you can probably imagine Mia was putting the heat on me. We definitely got into a couple of arguments about how different my timeline was from the one she had in mind.

I felt like it made more sense to ask for Mia’s parents’ permission after I paid for the ring. I considered asking before I ordered it but I thought the best way to go about it was to order it first so they knew that I was really serious. I sent them the inspiration pictures that I sent the designers which I had collected from Mia over time. They said yes and Mia’s mom was so excited. Her dad of course said something sideways like "Why you asking me, I’m not the one you marrying" or something like that. But I know him well enough to know that if the answer was “No you may not marry my daughter,” he would say directly that. So I took his response as a yes. Lol.

About two weeks after I asked them, I got the call that the ring was ready. I paid the deposit and it was shipped. I sent her parents a video of the ring so they could see how it sparkled in the sunlight and Mia’s mom said how much she loved it. I admit that I wasn't sure how good she would be at keeping this a secret but I figured Mr. Scott wouldn't let her blow this up. At least she'd have someone to talk to that wasn't Mia.

Once I had the ring, the hardest part was over but I still had to figure out how I was going to give it to Mia. I talked to her and even sent her some videos of big elaborate proposals and she told me she definitely didn't want that. I was carrying the ring with me in my pocket, waiting for the right opportunity to give it to her for weeks. I tried to do different things but nothing was working out and I eventually just felt like there wasn't going to be a time that was perfect. Maybe I was just thinking too much. But I also didn't want to keep walking around with the ring in my pocket instead of on her finger.

So I happened to have the ring in my pocket this day we went to the movies. When we got back I just decided I was tired of waiting for an opportunity, prolonging it. Not to mention how impatient Mia was acting.

So I just went with what I was feeling at the moment and told her how I feel. I don't even remember what I said but I feel like whatever it was, was true. I wasn't scared because I knew she would say yes. Mia was basically shocked because I caught her off guard. But she was happy. I’m glad she loved the ring and the proposal and since she's happy, I’m happy too.

heck yeah i will!

One day Joe was discussing with me a friend of his who was with his high school sweetheart for 10 years, and that this friend was in hot water with this young lady because after 10 years, he still hadn't proposed. Joe offered some tough love to this friend, saying "At this age, if you're with a person for more than 3 years and you're not ready to propose, you don't really want to be with them anyway, and you're just wasting both y'alls time delaying the inevitable." At this point Joe and I had been together for 2 years. So in my mind, a little quick math let me know that I should be expecting a ring in approximately 1 year. Yep, because that's EXACTLY how real life works...

Cut to our 3 year anniversary. Spoiler alert, we didn't get engaged then, and there really wasn't a lot of discussion about it happening, at least not with any sense of timing tied to it. As we approached our 4 year anniversary, I grew impatient. After lots of internal conflict (and external conflict! I discussed this topic with ALL of my friends and I definitely wasn’t shy about mentioning it to Joe either) I finally confronted him in no uncertain terms, at an extremely inopportune time, while we were on a trip upstate trapped in a car together with nothing but space and opportunity to duke it out. I asked him straight up if he ever seriously planned to marry me or if he was just wasting time delaying the inevitable. I reminded him of the advice he gave to his friend years earlier, and I could see him mentally kicking himself for letting his mouth, years ago, write a check that his behind couldn’t cash with interest years later!

Joe assured me that he did plan on marrying me, but he just needed more time to get things in order. "Well how much time do you think you need?" I asked with more 'tude than I probably needed in the situation. He said "I don’t know. At least a year or so..."

A YEAR??????????????????????????????????????

This was September 2013. I was heartbroken. I received some sage advice around this time. I was told: "you can either wait for him or you can leave him. But those are your only two options. You can't force anything, you can't fight your way into a proposal. All you can do is leave or stay and wait." So I decided to stay and wait. In my mind, I planned to give him the year that he asked for. I hoped that, a year later, we would be happily engaged, but I didn't know, and that was scary. And I’d be lying if I said there weren’t some naysayers.

Nonetheless I thought that Joe was a good man, and would make a great husband one day and although I was scared that maybe the lack of proposal was a sign of his indecision about me, I waited. A year from the day we had the conversation would be September 2014. I figured, "at least a year or so" might mean we could get engaged on my birthday in October 2014, or Christmas 2014. Or our anniversary in January of 2015... Or Valentine’s Day 2015... Or... Sometime! Anytime! I laid out the possible dates for a 2 year period and obsessed over them ad naseum. I was pissing myself off, and I’m sure I was pissing Joe off. And to be honest, Joe was pissing me off too! He would show me viral videos of elaborate proposals and I would sulk and roll my eyes because it felt like everyone was getting engaged but us. He would ask me what types of rings I liked and if I wanted an elaborate proposal and I would say "who cares at this point, I just want to have some hair that’s not gray before I make it down the aisle.”

By the summer of 2014, waiting got real old. One day we went to the movies and on the way there he asked me how my day was going. I mentioned that one of my girlfriends at work, Jasmine, had given out wedding invitations to her destination wedding earlier that day. He asked me if I wanted to go, and I said "well, when Jas got engaged I told her I wouldn’t be able to make it since we would be saving for our own wedding, but since that doesn’t seem to be happening, I may as well go!" I looked out the car window annoyed, and I’m sure he did too.

After we came back home from the movie I was exhausted. For some odd reason though, Joe was in (a highly unusual) sentimental mood. We're sitting in the dining area and he’s standing up (while boiling spaghetti) and he starts rattling off. "I know I don’t say it as often as I should but I really love you and respect you. I admire you. You’re so smart..." at this point, I’m half listening because I’m so tired. It’s like 2am on a work night! I'm leaning with my head on the table trying to stay awake. He interrupts himself and says "try to look alive, babe." Still in a sleep deprived daze, I at least attempt to sit up straight. "You’re so smart and I’ve learned so much from you and my life is better since you've become a part of it." he continues. "And I know you have been worried but I want you to know I will marry you." I say "Aww, I know you will babe, it's not that I’m worried. It’s just that..." he cuts me off. "Let me finish." So I shut right up and let him have his moment. He went on: "Even though things didn’t happen in the time frame you wanted I want you to know I will marry you." At this point I missed a couple of these talking points because THIS MAN FELL TO HIS KNEE AND I STARTED FREAKING THE HECK OUT!!! He pulled a box out his pocket and continues to talk and I covered my face because I was having a full-fledged melt down! He looked me dead in my face and said “Mia. Will you marry me?” And I said yes, behind my hand covering my shocked OMG face!

I made a list of all these days and timelines of holidays when he might propose and he totally surprised me by doing it sooner than I could’ve imagined he would on random Tuesday. In the wee hours of July 1st 2014, he made another special day, just for us. With all the mental planning I did, I know without a doubt that I couldn’t have planned this better if I did it myself.

best. day. ever.